Broken at Six Months
by RizzoliIsles
Summary: Jane is broken and scared and although incredibly happy with Maura she doesn't believe she's good enough for Maura.


She's broken.

She's scared.

And every night when she thinks you've fallen asleep she whispers, "She still loves you, she hasn't found out the truth about you yet." But the night before you six month anniversary she whispers something that makes your heart break, "It won't be much longer until she leaves you, six months tomorrow she'll expect you to make her happy and you better do it if you want to have any chance of holding onto her. It's the longest relationship you've had don't fucking screw it up."

You wake up to breakfast in bed and she's wearing a smile but behind it you see her apprehensiveness, she's scared. When the tray is out of her hands and sitting on your lap she begins to wring her hands together, watching as you take your first bite, but then looks down, "I know it's not usually what you like but…I…I used to like chocolate chip pancakes and…it was stupid I'm sorry."

You smile up at her, "These are delicious come and sit with me we can share."

She sits on her side of the bed curled into your side and you lift the fork to her mouth, she looks up at you unsure and when you nod with a smile she opens her mouth. "I got you a gift, it isn't much though and it isn't anything really expensive, but you can return it and then use the money to buy the stuff that you like…" She hands you the gift and you pull her lips to yours and when you pull away her eyes are twinkling with tears and what looks like disbelief and…to your own surprise, love.

You open the gift and gasp it's a locket and on the back in perfect writing are the words, 'I love you, J'. You look at her and tears well up in your eyes, "I love it and more importantly I love you. This is by far is my favorite gift ever."

"No it's not you always say that absolutes are silly that you can't possibly back that up with quantifiable proof. I know it isn't what you expected but after I had to give that nine thousand dollars to Tommy I just couldn't make the two thousand dollar jump to the next price bracket without depending on you more than I already do," She looks down again and you wonder how you never realized how broken and unsure of herself she is, you decide to make it your mission to make her smile again, like the one that lights up her face.

You sit up placing the tray on your night stand, the plate completely clean, you straddle her and she looks up at you fearful, "I want you to listen to me Jane Clementine Rizzoli, this gift means more to me than anything else I have ever received. You should know by now Jane that the price doesn't matter to me because I'm always going to love it and you. Baby we depend on each other," When she scoffs you cup her face in your hands, "And Jane me buying the groceries a month ago when you gave Tommy that money so he could buy something nice for Lydia is not depending on me."

She runs a hand through her hair obviously conflicted between wanting to believe your words and fear of it would me if she did only to be lied to. You stand up and move to your closet pulling out a box from behind your shoe boxes before climbing back into bed with her, "Open it honey."

She smiles and your heart skips a beat when you see how childlike she looks in that moment, she rips off the wrapping paper and even though it's not much it is still done in a very Jane Rizzoli type of manner. She looks up at you in shock, "How did you know I wanted this?"

You smile at her as she fingers the Rolex, "I saw you looking at when I went to get my silver one fixed but I wasn't sure but a month ago I saw you gazing at it on the computer and I brought it the next day." You kiss her lips when she looks like she's about to try and fight you on how this is too much, "I love you and I want you to have it."

Before she slips it on she turns it over and grins when she reads the engraving, 'I love you, M', "We're two peas in a pod."

For a moment you think about giving her some facts about this statement but then you remember her words from last night and you stop yourself, you pull her close so she's facing you wrapped in your arms, "I hear what you say at night and I want you to know that you won't be left ever and you won't be forgotten Jane, you're it for me I love you and I'll continue to love you, until the end of time."

She's tense in your arms and has tried to pull away multiple times before the tears that you had seen in her eyes finally won, like she was no match for them, and she lets her head fall against your chest, "You don't know a lot about me though, a lot has happened to me and I have a lot of scars Maur and not just the ones from Hoyt. You won't be able to love this forever, trust me no one can and I just…I just don't want to lose you as my best friend when the inevitable happens. I can't do without my best friend even if I can't have you…even if I have to watch you be ha…happy with s…so…someone else."

By the end she's sobbing and you hold onto her tight, "I don't care I'll spend my entire lifetime happy just to be able to hold your hand. I don't want you to do anything to you Jane, we're partners and anything we're going to do is going to be because we both want it. You'll never lose me Jane. We're in this together."

I don't own anything everything is Bill Haber, Janet Tamaro, Angie Harmon, and Sasha Alexander's creation alone. This was mainly written as a response to the picture that Sasha tweeted two days ago of her and Angie after they wrapped there was just something in her eyes that looked like she was a little broken and how Sasha held her, I don't know something just screamed fanfiction to me.

It was a completely different story until about four hours ago and I'm much happier with this. I've never been good at fanfiction so if it's too "spell it out for you", I don't know how to explain it but it's kind of like condescension but in writing format for the reader that the writer does without knowing (at least I hope he/she does it without knowing). It's my biggest pet peeve and turn off so if it is like that or if the characters aren't written properly let me know I used to write L&O: SVU but and I couldn't stand my own writing so I deleted them (saved people the misery).

I'm actually thinking about continuing this so let me know. I'm a huge fan of colormetheworld and Normal-is-Overratedx (along with others that I can't remember, I just remember these two because I'm always checking for updates) so…the point here is that some of this has been pulled from them not their words of course but the ideas that come across from their writing and that affect me. Because I am looking for Jane to my Maura and Maura to my Jane and so when I think about the person that I marry I think about the personalities both Jane and Maura have in this story (still figuring out who I am…) BUT ANYWAYS…sorry for the long note, thank you, and I hope you enjoyed!


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